Cat Fight
by p y r otechnic - - ROYAL
Summary: Two blonde kunoichis. One lazy shinobi. Which girl will win the fight? What damage shall ensue? A collaboration with TheEvilAuthoressK-Chan. InoXShikaXTema love triangle. Chapter 3: Ino gets even. Please R&R!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Ino

Chapter 1: Ino

_**From: **__"Pink Princess" _

_**To: **__"Ino-chan" _

_**Subject: **__Fwd: Whatcha guys doin' this weekend?!_

_Hey Ino, did you get this from Naruto? If not, I think there's something that should interest you. Here you go, and please don't shoot the messenger._

_Sakura_

"_**PRANKSTER KING" **__** wrote:**_

_From: "PRANKSTER KING" _

_To: "Sasuke-teme" __, "Sakura-chan" __, "Choji" __, "Bushy Brows" __, "Kiba" __, "Hinata" __, "Shikamaru" _

_Subject: Whatcha guys doin' this weekend?!_

_Hi!_

_So, wanna go get some ramen sometime? Shikamaru, are you back from visiting Gaara's sister? Didja guys do anything (wink wink nudge nudge)? I'm free all weekend!_

_-Naruto_

_- ICHIRAKU RAMEN RULES!!_

_-Sakura blossoms bring forth spring and happiness._

"Oh… FUCK no!" Yamanaka Ino muttered, glaring at her computer. This was so not happening. Sure, she and Shikamaru had broken up at the beginning of the summer, but that didn't mean that he could go see that whore. With a scowl, she typed a reply to Sakura.

_**From:**__ "Blondes R Hotter" _

_**To: **__"Billboard Brow" _

_**Subject: **__Oh NO he didn't!_

_Naruto's not smart enough to figure out how to BCC people, so no, I didn't get that._

_That lazy-ass bum! I can't believe that he did that! I'm gonna KILL him!_

_Thanks for passing the word along…_

_3 Ino_

_- Blondes do have more fun._

As she clicked send, someone knocked on her bedroom door. "Ino-chan? Could you mind the shop for a bit? I need to go out, and your father's at Shikaku-san's."

With a sigh, the blonde kunoichi got up. "I'll be right down," she told her mom, grabbing her cell phone and checking her hair in the large mirror in her room. Once she was assured that her ponytail was tight enough, Ino made her way downstairs and out to the main part of Yamanaka Flowers. Her mom was talking to a pink-haired woman — Sakura's mom — about some store that had recently opened up as the teen pulled on a yellow apron and slid her phone into the pocket.

"Thanks a lot Ino-chan," her mom said as she took her place behind the counter. "The Aburame order came in by the way, so they might send someone to pick that up. I'll be back by the time your father gets home."

"'Kay." After a few minutes, the two women left the store, leaving Ino alone there examining her purple nail polish. Business kept her busy for a while, but during a lull, she got to thinking about that e-mail.

What the hell was Shikamaru thinking? The kunoichi frowned, flipping open her purple-cased cell phone and closing it again. Maybe that bitch needs to know exactly who she's dealing with. Yeah, that's what I'll do; give her a warning so she'll back off.

With a smirk, she opened her cell phone and started a text message.

_Cosmosgrl: Hey tenten, do u kno temari's cell #? i can't find it._

_Armed'n'Dangerous: Yeah, its (XXX) XXX-XXXX._

_Cosmosgrl: Thnx!_

_Armed'n'Dangerous: No prob!_

"Thank you Tenten," the blonde murmured, opening a new text. As she punched in her rival's number, her blue eyes gleamed with possessive jealousy.

_Cosmosgrl: He's mine._

Hello there, hope you liked chapter 1! This is a collaboration between me and TheEvilAuthoressK-Chan, so look forward to updates! We both love reviews!! And check out K-chan's story, How To Win A Guy In 10 Steps!! Read it! Read I tell you!! Read the NaruHina goodness!! 


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: We do not own Naruto. If we did, AP testing wouldn't be such a problem for us.

Chapter 2: Temari

Temari lay in the grass staring up at the sky. Having just finished training, she was more than happy to rest. Smiling to herself she said, "So troublesome," and giggled slightly before looking around to make sure no one was around to see.

Generally she didn't act like this, but Shika (as Temari had taken to calling him) had just visited and she was absolutely giddy. With a sigh, she imagined the look on his face close up, the slight pout on his face from having stopped him from pushing her dress up. Her first time would not be on her bed god dammit. While her door did have a lock, she didn't know if her brothers had set it up so they could spy (mostly Kankuro, as Gaara could do stuff with his sand to peep) and she absolutely refused to provide anyone with free porn. She did have a reputation to uphold, after all.

Suddenly her phone buzzed and chimed, causing her to jump. "Dammit!" Temari growled, reaching for her phone. "This better be good."

She paused, looking at the number to see who it was. "XXX-XXXX?" she mused. "Not registered on my phone… hmm…" Opening the text, her eyes narrowed as she figured out the mystery sender simply from the two lone words in the text: He's mine.

"Oh, that slut!" she growled, cursing Ino under her breath. "How dare she say that!" She quickly replied with a text of her own.

_SandPrincess: No, u slut, he's mine! Go flirt with Sasuke!_

In a huff, Temari began to gather her things, stuffing a towel, weights, and the small throwing fans Tenten recommended she try out (the edges of the fans were razor sharp. No good for friendly competition, but perfect for some of the missions she got if she could just master throwing them. A training session with the weapons mistress might be necessary). When her phone vibrated again, she whipped it out violently.

_Cosmosgrl: Ah! U bitch! Shika-kun obviously loves me! Ur just jealous! And bsides, Sasuke-kun is too busy!_

Oh. My. God. That girl is a total whore! The only reason she is hanging over Shika is because Sasuke isn't there. Ugh.

_SandPrincess: … U whore. He goes out of his way to get away from U and see me!_

Temari stormed into the house, the older of her two brothers narrowly avoiding the door.

"Watch it Temari!" Kankuro said, studying her face for a moment. "Holy shit, Tema-chan, are you PMSing?" he said loudly as Gaara walked in, a light blush tinting her younger brother's face as he realized they were talking about his only sister's menstrual cycle.

"I AM NOT!" Temari roared, storming into her room. After slamming her door, she could hear the remnants of her brothers' conversation.

"… is not. If she was, she'd have hit me," she heard Kankuro explain, and she could just imagine Gaara taking notes.

It took her just a second to read the next text, and after that, that was all she would do: text.

_Cosmosgrl: How do u kno that 4 sure Temari-CHAN? He sure does complain a lot about U when he gets back._

_SandPrincess: All he does here (when we aren't making out on my BED that is) is complain about how clingy you are._

_Cosmosgrl: And u call ME a whore! Did it ever cross ur mind that perhaps he doesn't like old hags like u?_

_SandPrincess: What do you mean old hag?! Pch. You're just jealous cause I have bigger boobs. :P_

_Cosmosgrl: Or mayb ur jealous cuz I don't have 2 depend on guys 3 yrs younger than me 2 even have a chance a guy._

_SandPrincess: Are you kidding? I have guys here after me. I can have my pick. Yeesh. Shika just has better… hands… Besides, I'm closer to his intelligence than u c._

_Cosmosgrl: U do kno he obviously doesnt feel the same way. I mean, he hasnt even introduced u 2 his parents._

_SandPrincess: You only got that bcause you are on his team. You're other teammate probably met them the same day._

_Cosmosgrl: U mean u dont kno!? Shika-kun and Choji-kun have been best friends 4 years! AND our fathers were all teammates. Ive got family on my side._

_SandPrincess: You miserable slut! I should just… Ugh. I'm calling Shika._

_Cosmosgrl: He will tell u the same thing. Lol._

Temari was thoroughly pissed by the time she stopped texting, so she turned on her laptop so she could relax. As she waited for her computer to warm up, a slow smile formed on her face.

_**From: **__"Fangirlz Rock" sandprincess _

_**To:**__ "Tenten" armed'n'dangerous _

_**Subject:**__ Why?_

_I know it was you who gave that slut my number. Why?!  
_

_For that, you owe me everyone's e-mails._

_.: Fangirls can smell fear :._

_**From:**__ "10 10" armed'n'dangerous _

_**To:**__ "Temari-chan" sandprincess _

_**Subject:**__ RE: Why?_

_SORRY!_

_She texted me and I was… distracted…_

_Here are all of the e-mails._

_Lee: greenbeast _

_Neji: screwcagedbirds _

_Hinata: quietsunshine _

_Sakura: cherryblossom _

_Naruto: ramenluvr _

_Sasuke: chidoriavenger _

_Choji: eatingchamp _

_Kiba: caninezrule _

_Ino: cosmosgrl _

_Shino: bugcollecter _

_Sai: artistsai _

_-- I like sharp pointy objects. A lot. --_

"What to do?" Temari asked aloud, looking around her room for inspiration on how to best piss off Ino. As her eyes passed over her dresser, a smirk crawled onto her face. "Perfect."

_**From:**__ "Fangirlz Rock" sandprincess _

_**To:**__ "Shika" 2troublesome , "Teammate" eatingchamp , "Blonde Guy" ramenluvr , "Pink" cherryblossom , "Hinata-chan" quietsunshine , "Tenten" armed'n'dangerous , "Dog-boy" caninezrule , "That one Konoha hottie" chidoriavenger , "Hyuga" screwcagedbirds , "Lee" greenbeast , "Bug-boy" bugcollecter , "Creepy artist guy" artistsai _

_**Subject:**__ PARTY MY PLACE!_

_I got a new bikini, so I'm holding a pool-party-slash-sleepover! (Don't worry, Hinata-chan, boys and girls will stay in separate rooms. ) Bring anything and everything relevant!_

_PS: No one DARE invite Ino. PERIOD._

_.: Fangirls can smell fear :._

Muahaha. Now comes the real fun. In case you are wondering this is TheEvilAuthoressK-chan, at your service! I'm working on this with my Futago-chan and it was my turn to write the chapter. This next chapter is going to have two parts, one done by each of us (she's doing the pool party part; I'm doing the sleepover part, which is good, considering my fic, How To Win A Guy In Ten Easy Steps, crosses over with this one at around this point. Be sure to look it up!) I hope you all are enjoying the story!

Now review before I come after you with my Spork of DOOM!


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** We do not own Naruto. We do own a guy we _call_ Naruto, but alas, we do not have the rights to the manga/anime itself. So no suing us!

**Chapter 3:** Ino

_**From:**__ "BBQ Fan" eatingchamp_

_**To:**__ "Flower Ino" cosmosgrl_

_**Subject: **__Are you coming?_

_Hey Ino,_

_I was wondering if you were going to that party Temari's throwing. It'd be really cool if you were, and I'm sure some of the other girls might have more fun if you came._

_-Choji_

_Every butterfly was once a caterpillar_

The blonde paused, her brush still halfway through her hair, to reread the e-mail. That bitch is throwing a party and inviting everyone but me? Who the fuck does she think she is?

_**From:**__ "Blondes R Hotter" cosmosgrl_

_**To:**__ "Choji-kun" eatingchamp_

_**Subject:**__ RE: Are you coming?_

_Give me the stats, and I'll be there._

_3 Ino_

_Blondes do have more fun._

_**From: **__"BBQ Fan" eatingchamp_

_**To:**__ "Flower Ino" cosmosgrl_

_**Subject: **__FWD: PARTY MY PLACE!_

"_**Fangirlz Rock" wrote:**_

_**From:**__ "Fangirlz Rock" sandprincess_

_**To:**__ "Shika" 2troublesome, "Teammate" eatingchamp , "Blonde Guy" ramenluvr , "Pink" cherryblossom, "Hinata-chan" quietsunshine, "Tenten" armed'n'dangerous, "Dog-boy" caninezrule, "That one Konoha hottie" chidoriavenger, "Hyuga" screwcagedbirds, "Lee" greenbeast, "Bug-boy" bugcollecter , "Creepy artist guy" artistsai_

_**Subject:**__ PARTY MY PLACE!_

_I got a new bikini, so I'm holding a pool-party-slash-sleepover! (Don't worry, Hinata-chan, boys and girls will stay in separate rooms.) Bring anything and everything relevant!_

_PS: No one DARE invite Ino. PERIOD._

_.: Fangirls can smell fear :._

_Every butterfly was once a caterpillar._

"Thank god Choji's such a nice guy," she muttered as she stalked out of her room, tying her long locks into her usual high ponytail. "I'm going to Sakura's!" she called out before leaving the house, heading out to her (on-again, off-again) best friend's house.

"Hello there Ino-chan," the pink-haired kunoichi's mother said when she opened the door and saw who had knocked. "Sakura-chan is in her room. I'm sure you remember the way up."

Ino nodded, making her way to the stairs. "Thanks Haruno-san, I do." The smile she had faked for the older woman's sake faded once the teen was out of her sight, an angry frown replacing it by the time she opened the medic-nin's door. "Who the HELL does she think she is?!" she demanded without preamble.

Sakura stared at her, eyes wide with confusion. "Uh, who are we talking about this time?" she asked, sitting down on her bed. "'Cuz with you, 'she' could refer to several people."

"That Suna bitch, that's who!" Blue eyes blazing, the kunoichi looked at her. "I know you got the e-mail. Choji-kun forwarded it to me. Did she honestly think I wouldn't hear about it? I mean, come on! I hear about EVERYTHING that goes on in this village!"

"And don't we know it," Sakura muttered under her breath. "Look, she did explicitly say not to invite you. She's probably going to get pissed at Choji-kun for informing you."

A smirk slowly crawled across Ino's face. "She can't." When the other girl shot her a confused look, she chuckled. "Choji-kun is Shika-kun's best friend. The bitch wants to stay on Shika-kun's good side. She can't do anything to him!"

"Oh, I see. So, what are you going to do about the party?"

"Come on Forehead Girl! This is me we're talking about. What do you think I'm gonna do, stay at home and let her win? Nuh uh! No, I'm crashing this party, and I think I know just the outfit to do it in."

…

…

…

"I'm glad you came," Choji commented as he and Ino walked up to the huge house. "Its probably gonna be a lot of fun, don't you think?"

Ino smirked, thinking about how much fun she was going to have. "Thanks a ton Choji-kun," she gushed, giving him a hug. "Could you believe that Temari-chan forgot to send the e-mail to me??"

The chubby teen shook his head in disbelief. "Nope, I can't. Good thing I forwarded it to you though."

"And I'm totally grateful for that." The blonde knocked on the door for the two of them, switching her big purple bag with her stuff onto her other shoulder. "Well, Choji-kun, let's go get this party started."

The door was opened by a maid. "You must be here for Temari-san's party," she said, ushering the two Konoha natives in. "She's outside at the pool with her other guests and her brothers."

"Could you tell me where I can change into my suit?" Ino asked her sweetly. Choji had worn his trunks to the house, wanting to save time. The maid showed her to a bathroom, saying that the girls were changing in there. "Thanks!" She rapped her hand on the door to see if anyone else was inside already.

"For the last time Naruto, I'm not letting you inside!"

Ino grinned. Typical. "Well, will you let me inside Forehead-chan??" she replied, recognizing Sakura's yell. The pinkette opened the door, clutching a pink T-shirt over her chest.

"Oh, it's you Ino. Sorry 'bout that, I thought you were Naruto." She stepped aside to allow the blonde to enter.

"I figured." Ino closed the door behind her, shaking her head sadly. "I really feel sorry for you Sakura. I mean, you've got a sensei who spends all his time reading porn, Naruto, who we all know is a compete idiot, and…"

The other girl scowled. "…And Sai, who is a total jerk, extremely weird, and enjoys insulting everyone."

"He doesn't insult _me_," Ino responded, grinning. "He thinks _I'm_ gorgeous."

"He only says that because I hurt him when he called me ugly. Geez Ino-pig, stop being so full of yourself."

"Maybe the reason he called you ugly is 'cuz you are Billboard Brow. Don't hate me 'cuz I'm beautiful." She smirked, tossing her long blonde locks over her shoulder. "Come on, I've got a bitch to beat." She changed into her swimsuit, a white and purple halter one-piece with part of the front cut out to show off her flat stomach and the back to keep everything symmetrical.

"Is that the suit you told me about?" Sakura asked, folding her shirt neatly and putting it in her red backpack. "It certainly is unique, that's for sure."

"Thanks. I wasn't sure whether or not to wear it, but since Temari-bitch is planning to show off a bikini, I wanted to have more people talking about my swimsuit than hers." Ino looked her friend up and down. The other kunoichi was wearing a hot pink tankini that was designed to disguise her smaller chest and green board shorts. "Yours looks good on you too." She pulled out a violet towel and shoved her clothes in her bag. "Ya ready Sakura? Let's go."

With that, the blonde led her on/off best friend out of the bathroom, striding confidently out to the pool. Her rival for Shikamaru's affections was sitting on the edge, dangling her feet in the water, her back to Ino. With a smirk, she put one finger to her lips, signaling for everyone else to be quiet, and snuck up behind Temari. Once she was standing right behind the darker blonde, she sighed. "It's a nice view, I'll give you that much."

Hi everyone!! ArilianaFireQueen here, and that was chapter 3 of Cat Fight! And the drama builds… Hope you are enjoying it so far!! I know K-Chan said that I'd put up the whole pool part, but since it was taking so long, I thought I'd just put this up. The next chapter should have the rest of it, written by the two of us. As you can probably guess, K-chan's longer chapter got me writing more for my part. (Well, that and the fact that she said that I was writing the pool party part for this chapter, talk about pressure…)

Anyhoo… For everyone who is wondering what Ino's swimsuit looks like, go to your local bookstore and find Negima! Volume 7. Ayaka's (she'd be the girl with the long blonde hair) swimsuit on the cover is what inspired Ino's suit. Change the black part to dark purple, and there you have it!

Since we never did thank those who reviewed the last couple of chapters, we'll do so for both here.

**Bri**: Our only regular reviewer so far!! But you're our friend, so you don't count. (JK! We 3 you Bri!!) Hope you liked the shout out to Chris up in the disclaimer. Heh heh. Keep on reading ½ of NaruTen!!

**johnabraham**: Hello there! Thanks again for reviewing Ch. 1. Yay for ShikaIno!! (Sorry Futago-chan, he's mine!) lol

And to all those people who just alerted and didn't even leave a comment on what you thought… Shame on you all! At least let us know why you like it!

Fast updates come from happy authoresses. Happy authoresses are ones that get lots of reviews. Follow the syllogism. (Lots of reviews faster updates)


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